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This page is where you can learn stuff about our songs!
(as if anyone actually cares)
LOVE SUCKS, BUY A PLAYSTATION
yes it does, and yes you should...although maybe a playstation 2 would be better now!
WHITE LIGHTNING
An anthem for a whole generation of young bored teenagers who drink too much cheap cider, and why shouldnt they? In this tune cheesegrater raise a 3 litre bottle of Frosty Jacks to the kids who sit in a circle at the park huddled around a few bottles of whatever cheap cider they could get the money together to afford! To all those kids who fall asleep in wheely bins, who race shopping trolleys down the high street in a drunken frenzy, who wake up with no idea where they are or how they got there! One of the original set of cheesegrater songs, the idea came from a particularly intense drinking session in which Bailey and Stebbs spent an entire day drinking and playing shit Amstrad games before having it large at a Pitchshifter gig (or was it Less Than Jake? I cant remember), but anyways it was fun! Im not really sure what the lyrics are (despite having to sing them at gigs n stuff) but some of them are:
white lightning, youre the one for me
white lightning and you come off a tree
white lightning tell me why I dont like being sober
Coz when I am sober I am always hungover
White Lightning, I want White Lightning, White Lightning, Its a cheap cider!
COMIC SHOP GUY
A song about that bloke who works in the comic shop in Norwich! He's possibly the most patronising guy you're ever likely to meet so never ask him any questions about your purchases unless you wanna be made to feel about 2 feet tall! the lyrics are:
Hey mister comic shop I saw you staring at my ass and I thought that maybe you're gay
Hey mister comic shop why do jerk off over all of my comic books
Hey mister comic shop guy
Would you like another piece of pie
Hey mister comic shop guy
You said you scored but thats a lie
Hey mister comic shop you know that girl who works with you, i bet that you grab her ass
Hey mister comic shop the cupboard in the back of your store, well, its full of dead bodies, yeah, coz your insane
KICKBACK
This song was never really about anything to start off with, infact it didnt even have any set lyrics, Stebbs just used to make them up as he went along (and still does mostly). Now however it actually has lyrics and a bit more of a set "tune", the theme mainly seems to be about being pissed off at everything and stuff, but its anybodys guess really
as I aint got much of a clue in the matter as the lyrics just kinda happened! And they are:
Kickback when youve got nothing left to prove
Kickback when theres nothing that you wanna do
Kickback when second best is all you can do and thats o.k coz youve accepted it
Kickback when all youve got to lose is all you had ten years ago and when all that is is just enough, coz youre a fucking loser too!
Kickback when all you do just sets you back
Kickback when the easy route presents itself
Kickback when youve already lost but youre not about to lose anymore
Kickback when a losing streak lasts for most of your life and you realise its easier giving up, coz youre a fucking loser too!
Kickback! And shout loser! Fuck you! And your computer! Give up! But dont surrender! Kickback, Sitback and live the way you wanna live!
15 SECOND SONG
It says it all in the title really, this is little more and no less than a song that is fifteen seconds long, and we wouldnt have it any other way! Its a bit of a band favourite this one as we all get to go mad for a very short time, very fun! Once again the lyrics seem to be about being pissed off, it was widely believed by the band for a long time that there were no lyrics but here they are in all their glory! oh, and rumours that Elton John has shown interest in doing a version of this song are completely unfounded!
Fucked coz of loyalty,
Hanged by conspiracy,
Do you really care?
Does anybody care?
Given up so easily,
We’re not gonna breakdown,
Take down till you give it back!
Give it back!
Give it back!
Give it back!
WOULD YOU LIKE SOME CHEESE?
Cheesegraters introduction song, featuring a catchy 4 chord sequence written in bout ten seconds and little else! Recently Acidseed covered this song at one of their gigs and a damn good job they did of it to, I had much fun skanking to the quiet bit! We love acidseed!
Would You like some cheese? x7
Would you like some cheesegrater
Cheese, Cheese, Cheesegrater x8
MANGA THEME
Our pre intro song intro song thing where Matt n Matt introduce the cheeses, its a cover of that music from that little manga advert they had on manga videos, if youre into that kinda stuff!
NEVERENDING STORY
A nice n punky cover of that classic song from the film of the same name, originally performed by limahl (formerly of kajagoogoo) and yes we know that New Found Glory also covered it but we didnt know that when we did it and theres is probably recognisable, whereas ares is not in the slightest!
I AM THE ONE AND ONLY
Another punky cover, this time of one of the best songs in the world ever! I am the one and only by chesney hawkes! What a classic song, i remember listening to this song so many times at school discos whilst bigger boys hit me repeatedly for looking at them the wrong way or something...oh what good times it reminds me of!
THE A SCHOOL OF PUNK
A newer song that is all about how being punk nowadays seems to all be about how you look and stuff! So this is a bit of a ranty one, but hey we is a punk band what do you expect? We're not saying that we're mega punk or anything, just saying that because you die your hair green and saftey pin your nose it doesnt make you immediatly punk...or maybe it does? what is punk anyway? aghk who cares! So anyways, this song is also bout respecting "A" coz they are seriously cool and I could go on for ages bout how they havent sold out with Hi-Fi serious but I wont because it would be boring and needless to say they havent sold out! In my opinion anyway....
HURRY UP HARRY
A cover of the classic sham 69 song and an excellent sing-a-long number! For those of you who dont know, the chorus is "we're going down the pub"! Now remember that, write in on your arm or something and then come to one of our gigs and shout it as loud as you can!
SQUEAL
Our most anarcho song to date and one of our faves anyway! Its about hating the police and stuff and was written by drummer boy Alex, so dont ask me about the police hating bit coz he wrote it...I just work here! But anyways, we all love this song to bits and enjoy playing it to the extreme, we need more like this so Im now off to lock Alex in the cheesegrater mansion basement with an acoustic guitar and a pen and paper untill he comes up with some more anarcho fun!
RUPERTS TALE
This is a song we wrote about cheesegrater regular and comical piss-head mate of the band, Rupert and one of the many drunken things that has happened to him during his oh so alcohol driven life! It took about 30 secs to write this little beauty, but it gets the point across well enough...the story in question involves Rupert at the Reading festival choosing to steal beer over getting head from some girl! There is also plans to include a drunken story about Sweetpea in this song and rename it "Sweet and Ru", a bit like those liza and Louise songs that NoFX do but without the sex!
Rupert was pissed
When he met this girl at the Reading festival
She told him to prove that he was a real man
She got him to hold her beer
and then she got on her knees
on her knees
on her knees
yeah on her knees
He chose beer over getting HEAD!
He chose beer over getting HEAD!
He chose beer over getting HEAD!
He chose beer over getting HEAD!
KILL EMO
A song about killing emo written by Stebbs before he turned to the dark side and actually became an emo fan (although hes not sure if thats in an ironic way or not)! This is now an ex-song that has been removed from the set coz we couldnt be arsed to play it anymore! but heres the lyrics anyway:
Kill emo, its just a waste of space, its too much like a waste of time its too much like a crime, against punk and all that it stands for, whatever that is its not like I give a fuck!
Got no time, because were killing emo!
Got no job, because were killing emo!
Got no cash, because were killing emo!
But we dont care, because were killing emo!
Kill emo, we cant afford to wait, its breeding like a virus so weve got to vaccinate!
Kill emo, weve got to kill it soon, weve got to kill the emo punks before it gets too late!
Got no time, because were killing emo!
Got no job, because were killing emo!
Got no cash, because were killing emo!
But we dont care, because were killing emo!
ATF
Another ex-song which we dont play anymore, infact we never played it live but im including it here anyway just because Im bored. This song was about one of the greatest games ever, ATF on the Amstrad, thats Advanced Tactical Fighter for those not in the know! It was a great game and me n Bailey used to play it obsessively while pissed or otherwise intoxicated, the best bit was when you got these missiles locked on to you and you had to hit the jam button before they hit you! Which is suprisingly hard to do while your wasted! Can't remember what the lyrics were but the middle 8 consisted of mad guitaring and me shouting Jam!!! lots n lots! Sweet!
I MET A MARTIAN AND HE TOLD ME THAT SPACE INVADERS WAS FOR REAL
Once again an ex-song we dont play anymore. This time about, well, meeting a martian and him telling me that space invaders was for real! Its probably about drugs although I havent decided yet!
I MET AN AUSTRAILIAN TRANSVESTITE AND MY GIRLFRIEND GOT HIS PHONE NUMBER AND OUR LEAD WONKER FANCIED HIM
A cover of this classic tune by the short lived acoustic band Moose Straw which was made up of Alex and Stebbs! We dont play this anymore either!
GRANDFATHER CLOCK
Alex didnt know if he was tripping but he thought that maybe that grandfather clock in his girlfriends hall was staring at him......so we wrote a song about it and now we dont play it anymore!
HOBO RAP
A unique freestyling event by Stebbs with some funky bass and beats playing aswell! This song celebrates the people who really keep drinks like White Lightning and Frosty Jacks on the market! thats right, this song goes out to all the tramps and hobos from around the world...3 cheers for homeless people! oh and we dont play this one anymore either!
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